Knocked Up - The Sequel

That's right, friends! I am a total sucker for punishment and am now the host to a new little tenant, and let me tell ya, he's been given his six months notice and then he is outta here. Also, considering the fact that I took a month off from trying for a baby, and then immediately got pregnant as soon as the goalie was pulled after that, my husband has now lovingly informed me that "you take all the fun out of trying to get pregnant when you just get pregnant all the time." Thanks, Love. 

At this point in my Easter day, I don't have the time or energy to grace you with the gruesome details of this particular pregnancy, but I thought I'd leave you with a little something special. This newest baby has really touched my soul and I choose to express my feelings through poetry...


My boobs are sore

I can not poo 

Can barely bend  

To zip my boots  

I want a nap

I want to cry 

The thought of sex 

Makes me want to die 

My head is pounding 

My ankles, huge 

I'm still not over 

My new big boobs 

My jeans are tight 

I have to pee 

Metamucil replaces 

My lychee martini 

I cry at commercials 

I have to fart 

My social life  

Is falling apart 

I'm craving wine 

I can't breathe through my nose 

I'm losing sight 

Of my swollen toes 

 But it's not new implants 

In my double D cups 

This Surprise Momma 

Is once again, knocked up

Hey mom, thought you wanted a Kit Kat bar, did ya? PSYCH! Have fun heaving.

(The parasite at about 7 weeks along... dirty bugger.)